Fighting the Demons

To reach out of your darkness is one of the hardest things you can do.  

Who do you turn to?  

No. They're going through enough right now.  

No. They don't have the time.

No. You've been very disappointing to them lately.

No.  Why would you want to bring this upon them when they finally reached a good place?

You'll always have excuses, and so you leave yourself to fight it alone.  

Sometimes you win.  You pull yourself out of your funk and rejoin the life you're working so hard to maintain.  

Sometimes you lose.  Your demons take over.  They tell you all the lies that you so easily believe.

And then you just stop.

You stop working toward your goals.  You stop creating.  You stop imagining.  You fall into your darkness and you've left yourself with...

Nothing.  

You don't have the tools because your demons told you they were not working.  You don't have anyone to turn to because your demons told you all the excuses.  You don't have any light because they worked so hard to diminish your flame.  

They hid everyone and everything around you in the darkness.

This is when you need your tools and your people the most.  Reach out.  Get it out of you somehow.  Write it down and burn the page if you have to.  Don't be afraid to express it somehow.  Don't listen when you hear them tell you that you're only doing it for the attention. Even those who are, they still need something.  Don't listen when you hear them tell you that your situation is not as bad as others.  If it is bad enough to stop you being you, it's bad enough for you to need help.

Your flame may be gone, but there's still a spark.  It may not be glowing in the area you want it to, but it's somewhere.  Find it.  Let it glow where it's at.  Cultivate it in its place and let it reignite into a flame there.  That's where you need to focus because that's where your fragile little light has landed.  Work with it there, and soon it will grow, and begin to shine on other areas.  

And show you that you were never alone.

Time

Time is kinetic.  Always passing us. Giving us new moments while taking away the old ones.  All we have is our memory, our anticipation, as our now is merely a moment we’ve anticipated as it becomes a memory.

Time is constant. The way it passes us never changes, though our perception of it does. An hour can feel like an eternity, while a year can feel like it barely ever happened.

Time is linear. There’s no going back.  You can only make the best of the lessons you learned in your past so you can work on improving your future.

Time is limited.  Once it’s gone...

There are two ways to look at passing time.

You can look at where you expected to be at this point in your life.  Compare yourself to your current goals.  Contemplate the dreams you have out there, and overwhelm yourself with the realization of all the work that still needs to be done for those to become a reality.

Time may be linear, but life is everything but.  It’s full of diversions, setbacks, plot twists, and entanglements.  The days that come and go that are focused on other people’s goals.  The path that led to a dead end.  The crazy things people do that take up your limited time.  The things in life that must be attended to in order to keep on living.  It would be great if we could envision a goal, along with the most direct path, and all the tools we need to conquer that path, but how often does that actually happen?

We all have our distractions.  Our disappointments.  Our fiascos...

Or you can look at where you were when you last stopped to take stock of your time.  See how far you’ve come.  See all the obstacles you’ve overcome.  How you’ve grown.  How many lives you’ve touched.  Things that are now a reality because of you.

They say life is messy, but that’s because it’s so full.  It’s full of friendships, accomplishments, memories, and most importantly, love.  The people who walk into your life and show that they’ve intended to stay.  The days you hold your head up, look at the impossible feat and say, “Yeah, I did that!”  The feeling as you wield your sword amidst another uphill battle.  The hugs, the talks, the tears and the trust.  Without all these things, life wouldn’t be very messy, but it also wouldn’t be very complete.

We all have our blessings.  Our favors.  Our light…

Time may constantly pass us by and never come back, but we are gifted with the ability to recall what is has given us.  Remember all the diversions, setbacks, plot twists and entanglements.  Remember all the friendships, accomplishments, memories and love.  Embrace them.  Keep them in your goal’s story.  Cherish them. They are what makes the story great.

Savored Slowly

I am meant to be savored slowly

Experienced piece by piece

Just a taste,  a touch,  a tiny memory

That's all you'll get from me

At first

Once you get acquainted with this divine dine

You know you'll want to keep

Absorb me into your beautiful world

Slow down,  every portion’s too sweet

Too rich,  too full,  too much for one sitting

I am a feast to parse out for days

Focusing on each delight

The pairings within me must be relished carefully

Bit by bit,  plate by plate,  bite by bite

You mustn't be hasty,  try as you might

Too much of a good thing often is true

That's how most of the tragedies start

So you see I am meant to be savored slowly

Take your time to enjoy this piece of art