We kept it in the basement.

We kept it in the basement because we didn’t know if the others would see the value in putting it on display.  Would they run away? Would they try to slay? We embrace our melancholy, we feel the beauty within, we even dandle it.  For we felt the coup de foudre when we met it, but they didn’t understand. They treat it like the bile spewed from a long drawn out battle with the flu.  They only see its unpleasantness, and refuse to acknowledge how it’s there in the first place to help the system run efficiently. They don’t like seeing when something affects this delicate balance and the symptoms come out.  And then they blame the symptoms! So we kept it in the basement to protect these people from their own insecurities. We kept it in the basement to keep the peace. We thought we would be happy visiting it in our basement where they couldn’t see and judge and raise their pitchforks at the perceived danger.  But after time, we discovered how we were wrong. We saw how what we once enjoyed became a shameful act for us. We saw how we stopped wanting to go into the basement for our time with it. We saw how we stopped enjoying it and started treating it with the same contempt as the others.

And so we stopped.

Fighting the Demons

To reach out of your darkness is one of the hardest things you can do.  

Who do you turn to?  

No. They're going through enough right now.  

No. They don't have the time.

No. You've been very disappointing to them lately.

No.  Why would you want to bring this upon them when they finally reached a good place?

You'll always have excuses, and so you leave yourself to fight it alone.  

Sometimes you win.  You pull yourself out of your funk and rejoin the life you're working so hard to maintain.  

Sometimes you lose.  Your demons take over.  They tell you all the lies that you so easily believe.

And then you just stop.

You stop working toward your goals.  You stop creating.  You stop imagining.  You fall into your darkness and you've left yourself with...

Nothing.  

You don't have the tools because your demons told you they were not working.  You don't have anyone to turn to because your demons told you all the excuses.  You don't have any light because they worked so hard to diminish your flame.  

They hid everyone and everything around you in the darkness.

This is when you need your tools and your people the most.  Reach out.  Get it out of you somehow.  Write it down and burn the page if you have to.  Don't be afraid to express it somehow.  Don't listen when you hear them tell you that you're only doing it for the attention. Even those who are, they still need something.  Don't listen when you hear them tell you that your situation is not as bad as others.  If it is bad enough to stop you being you, it's bad enough for you to need help.

Your flame may be gone, but there's still a spark.  It may not be glowing in the area you want it to, but it's somewhere.  Find it.  Let it glow where it's at.  Cultivate it in its place and let it reignite into a flame there.  That's where you need to focus because that's where your fragile little light has landed.  Work with it there, and soon it will grow, and begin to shine on other areas.  

And show you that you were never alone.