If you could see...

If you could see the person you become when you've had too much to drink

(and you don't think that you have).  

If you could see that hanging out with you is no longer fun and relaxing.

If you could see how you exhibit so many traits that you normally complain about in other people.

If you could see how you cease to be an intelligent man and instead you become no more appealing
than any other guy with a permanent butt print on a bar stool.  

If you could see how you have trouble standing up...
walking across the room...
pouring yourself another drink...

If you could see that you have no idea when to stop.  That deciding to have a drink means that
you've decided to get fall-down drunk.  

There is no in between.  

If you could see how I go from feeling like a partner to feeling like a parent.  

If you could see how I worry that you'll knock something over, or hurt yourself.

If you could see all the damage that you're doing to your body.  

If you could see that I care about you so much that it hurts me to watch you fall down this path.  

If you could see the excuses I've made for you, including the ones I've made to myself.  

If you could see the years of self esteem building that I have gone through to finally realize that
I'm not obligated to sit there and watch you do this to yourself.

If you could see how much courage I need to muster up in order to tell you "no."  

If you could see how many times I waited until morning to talk to you about this,  
then decided against it because I didn't want to make another unpleasant day.

If you could see that I didn't want to stop watching the show with you tonight, but you are no longer you right now, and I don't enjoy being around this person, so when you come back we can watch the rest.

If you could see all these things, then maybe you'd start to drink more responsibly and less Wisconsinably.  

And maybe you'd stop thinking of me as "hateful."

Time

Time is kinetic.  Always passing us. Giving us new moments while taking away the old ones.  All we have is our memory, our anticipation, as our now is merely a moment we’ve anticipated as it becomes a memory.

Time is constant. The way it passes us never changes, though our perception of it does. An hour can feel like an eternity, while a year can feel like it barely ever happened.

Time is linear. There’s no going back.  You can only make the best of the lessons you learned in your past so you can work on improving your future.

Time is limited.  Once it’s gone...

There are two ways to look at passing time.

You can look at where you expected to be at this point in your life.  Compare yourself to your current goals.  Contemplate the dreams you have out there, and overwhelm yourself with the realization of all the work that still needs to be done for those to become a reality.

Time may be linear, but life is everything but.  It’s full of diversions, setbacks, plot twists, and entanglements.  The days that come and go that are focused on other people’s goals.  The path that led to a dead end.  The crazy things people do that take up your limited time.  The things in life that must be attended to in order to keep on living.  It would be great if we could envision a goal, along with the most direct path, and all the tools we need to conquer that path, but how often does that actually happen?

We all have our distractions.  Our disappointments.  Our fiascos...

Or you can look at where you were when you last stopped to take stock of your time.  See how far you’ve come.  See all the obstacles you’ve overcome.  How you’ve grown.  How many lives you’ve touched.  Things that are now a reality because of you.

They say life is messy, but that’s because it’s so full.  It’s full of friendships, accomplishments, memories, and most importantly, love.  The people who walk into your life and show that they’ve intended to stay.  The days you hold your head up, look at the impossible feat and say, “Yeah, I did that!”  The feeling as you wield your sword amidst another uphill battle.  The hugs, the talks, the tears and the trust.  Without all these things, life wouldn’t be very messy, but it also wouldn’t be very complete.

We all have our blessings.  Our favors.  Our light…

Time may constantly pass us by and never come back, but we are gifted with the ability to recall what is has given us.  Remember all the diversions, setbacks, plot twists and entanglements.  Remember all the friendships, accomplishments, memories and love.  Embrace them.  Keep them in your goal’s story.  Cherish them. They are what makes the story great.